What does your Boss Really Mean When He Says:

 

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same"

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done, at least not tomorrow"

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later"

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Read it or not: The Choice is Yours!

 

There are two ways to write error-free programs.  Only the third one works.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There can be no twisted thought without a twisted molecule.

-- R. W. Gerard

There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full.

-- Henry Kissinger

There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

"There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum."

-- Arthur C. Clarke

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it

-- G. B. Shaw

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

There is no TRUTH.  There is no REALITY.  There is no CONSISTENCY. There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS   I'm very probably wrong.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

-- Oscar Wilde